Father Bede Griffiths

A beautiful talk on how exploring other religions can enhance the faith you practice.

5 Simple Ways to Respond to Negative People

Many of the most valuable lessons I have learned have come from people I definitely do not want to be like. You know the type.

For example, I have a family member who is the embodiment of cynicism, doom and gloom. He rarely has anything positive to say and his dark jokes revolve around someone's misfortune.

Whenever asked, "How’s it going?" he details his latest job woes in a manner that reflects his view that the world is out to get him. He can also talk for hours about his dark conspiracy theories.

Being around him can be draining, to say the least. Most family members suffer in silent resignation, head for another room, or step out into the garden for some fresh air to get away.

I often do the same. At other times, I feel compassion and attempt to share the benefits of seeing life from a more elevated perspective while also hinting at the importance of taking ownership of one's shadow.

There are also times when, if I am not careful, I find myself getting drawn into the gravitational pull of his dark energy. When this happens, he unloads his grievances and walks away with a light spring in his step while I am left feeling like I need a shower.

In other words: this man is a fantastic ally. He has taught me incredible lessons about where and why I allow myself to be pulled off center and out of my heart. Through him, I have woken up to when this happens.

As a form of protection, I have created an internal checklist to respond to people both at work and at home who are negative or stuck in a dark mood. The checklist goes like this:

1. What does this person need?

Is there a chance that a positive input is being sought? If the answer is yes, then share something to lift the mood. If the answer is no, keep the interaction brief and walk away.

2. Are they acting as a mirror?

The answer is yes if we are being sucked in. When there is a pull, there is a resonance. Someone or something "out there" shows us where we are resisting the flow of life. When this is the case, we can breathe in deeply and accept what is.

3. This too will pass. 

While we can offer compassion and point to other alternatives, we are not responsible. Suffering is a choice. When we maintain our state, we are part of the solution rather than adding to the illusion. In this way, we create space for an opening of awareness to happen, which is more than enough.

4. Avoidance is O.K.

We can protect and safeguard the sanctity of our internal state by making sure we are with people who nurture us. On other occasions, when we have no alternative as a consequence of work or family obligations, we can remain upbeat and keep turning every negative comment into a positive. Do it for long enough and it works wonders. If the other person cannot get you on his or her negative side, they will eventually give up.

5. Love really is the answer. 

Everything always comes down to love. If we love and respect ourselves, we do not give ourselves away so cheaply. We do not come down from our state. We do not concede who we are for the sake of someone’s need to off-load. We can listen with love. We only get dumped on when we allow ourselves to become part of the drama.

**

The next time that person comes your way, be grateful. No matter how mean, dark-spirited or negative they may be, they are here to teach us how to love, honor and respect who we are and what we have to offer the world.

I would say that is an invaluable gift wouldn’t you?

3 Steps to Manifesting Your Dreams

In July 2007, I boarded a train heading from London to Nottingham in the UK. It was a two hour journey and I realized I had nothing to read. However, a moment later I recalled having picked up a free magazine while visiting a mind-body-spirit bookstore, which I had stuffed into my bag.

Taking it out, I settled in to read an article written by Barbara Brennen. Half way through, I suddenly heard a voice saying, “You can do this. You can write articles and essays that inspire people.” The voice was so loud I looked around just in case anyone had spoken, though I already knew. This message was ‘an inside job’, delivered from the depths of my own intuitive wisdom.

Without questioning or doubting what I had heard, I chose the only surface I had to write on and began drafting my first article on the back of a paper napkin. At home, after tweaking and typing it up, I sent it to the editor of the magazine I had been reading. 

Three days later, I received an e-mail from the editor saying he wanted to use the article in his next edition and hey presto! From that moment on my creative doors were flung wide open and I was forcefully propelled in a direction I could never have consciously foreseen.

Since then in the work that I do, I have been happy to share a simple, yet incredibly powerful  checklist, which can be utilized in order to go after what we are most passionate about. The list goes like this:

1. Listen.

When you hear a strong inner message, don’t miss the moment and let it slip away. Trust what you are hearing. Write it down; commit it to memory and hang on to it like a lifeline.

2. Act.

Take at least one step toward what you are being directed to do. If the first step is not immediately clear, keep a journal and inquire, “What can I do right now to bring this dream into manifestation?”

3. Share.

Tell those you trust and who are able to safely incubate this intention with you. Ask for support and input. Don’t hesitate to express your wildest, most extravagant dreams.

When we Listen, Act, and Share, we are saying, “YES!” to the flow of the universe, which is dynamic, alive, and charged with immense power.

We are proactively stating,

• I acknowledge and trust my intuitive wisdom.
• I love and honor who I am.
• I respect and stand behind what I have to offer the world.

In contrast, when we do not Listen, Act, and Share, we are made aware of it in several ways.

First: We feel depressed, intuitively recognizing that we have missed an important message meant to open us to new and expanded possibilities.

Second: We feel sluggish, “stuck,” and unable to see clearly. It’s as if our eyes have clouded over and we are trying to look through thick, dirty glass.

Third: We contract, which leads us to feeling alienated from the ones we love, as well as from the world at large.

Inevitably, at different stages in our lives, we flip-flop between the two opposites until we begin to see that we do have choices in the expression and manifestation of our dreams. We also realize that even if we miss an inner directive, it is never too late. We will be gifted with plenty of others.

Once we arrive at this understanding, we wake up to the truth that we will always be guided from within. And once we follow our inner guidance, we will be shown that the universe is, by nature, abundant and more than willing to take care of us, show us the way and even firmly take us by the hand, if we let it.

Copyright- Julie Hoyle 2012